Mid-Air Carnage and other things...

AND I'M BACK!!

Sorry about the absence, we just got back from a mini holiday up in sunny Queensland!
It was a quick one, but great to be with the family and catch up with some we don't see often enough. There was a lot of laying about in the hotel pool and we did go to "White Water World" which was a blast.

Coolie Beach

I'm going to put this out there though.
I will never fly again whilst I have children under the age of 4. I'm dead serious.

Why I don't..

The door is closed. It's closed but she can still hear whats going on outside of the room. Sometimes there's raised voices, other times it's quiet. Sometimes she can hear the other children playing and laughing.
That's the worst part of it, knowing that they are normal, happy, safe. It's as if it compounds her solitude, her anxiety, her fear.
She stands at the end of her small bed, nervously wringing her clammy hands.
Her heart is pumping fast, adrenalin from fear courses through her little body.
Her mind races, thinking sad things like if she stands and looks attentive maybe it will go better for her than if she was just sitting. Maybe it would soften what was coming, as if she can in some invisible way influence her predicament.

Maybe she'll be forgiven. And this will all just go away.
She knows deep down her hope is pointless. She knows. But she can't help desperately hoping.
Her body trembles with nervousness as each minute ticks by, filling her gut with cold dread. It's almost as if this is the worst part. The waiting.

Recipe Friday: Pear and Almond Pudding

This is easy and delicious. It is actually a dessert that I think tastes even better the next day, so if you can bring yourself to leave it alone once it's out of the oven, it'll be even tastier tomorrow.

PEAR AND ALMOND PUDDING

myPhoto week

Here are some snaps of our week. Enjoy!

smile

Blissed out...

I love that term. Blissed out. It really captures it's own meaning.
Even the sound of saying it rolls of the tongue with an happy lilt.

It's when everything in life aligns to be just right. Just perfect.
You get this profound sense of satisfaction and wellbeing.
As if just being there in the moment is healing and nourishing to the soul.

Sometimes these moments are literally just that, fleeting moments, sifting all too
quickly through our busy lives. Sometimes they last longer for a few hours even a day or more.

These moments of true bliss don't have to wait to be enjoyed on the perfect tropical holiday, or a romantic date, or a birthday party. We organize those things, hoping that bliss will come. How often though have you just being stressed out by the big birthday event or the holiday that was meant to be relaxing.

Recipe Friday: Eton Mess

I've made this a couple of times in the last few months and it's become a firm favorite.
Again the recipe is simple (you can tell I'm into simple recipes, it's harder to stuff them up you know.)

It might seem like a few processes but as long as you have a kitchen mixer it's easy .
 So here goes...

ETON MESS:

The Bubble Bath Tornado

The bubble monster in his natural environment.

Water.

Noah.

Water meet Noah. You two will be best of friends.

Bubbles meet water and Noah.

Together you are a hurricane of splashing, laughter, spluttering, squeals of joy, shouting and slipping and sliding of almost catastrophic proportions.

Catastrophic at least for the bathroom.

Butterflies in the garden.

The other day I was reading a book in our living room whilst Noah was outside playing, from where I was sitting I could peek around and check up on him intermittently. It was a beautifully warm and sunny day and the door was open to let the breeze through.

All of a sudden Noah gallops through the doorway with an excited smile on his face.
"Daddy daddy!"
"Yes mate?" I look up from my book.
"Bullaflies! Bullaflies! Bullaflies!" He exclaims excitedly, whilst pointing to the garden.

Noah loves butterflies, we have quite a lot of them around our area and he loves chasing the little white ones in our garden.

"Butterflies huh?" He nods again, a huge smile on his face.

Too old for marriage??

When I’m talking with someone and I tell him or her that I am married the person who I am talking with generally gives me an almost sympathetic, baleful look. As if to say, with downcast eyes 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.” Like someone or something has died or like I have a terminal illness. They try to mask what they’re thinking but I can see them trying to figure out if I may have been forced into an arranged marriage or if my wife is a cavewoman, who clubbed me over the head, dragged me back to a cave and I am now a captive cavewoman’s husband.

The shock is even more apparent when they learn that I have 2 children under the age of 3. Like their minds cannot comprehend the fact that someone under 35 is capable of caring for a little human let alone themselves. Or my suspicion is that it is more likely they cannot comprehend anyone wanting to give up their freedom at such a young age, and that children are like an after thought of life “oh yeah, I’m 39 I guess I better pop out a kid now. I guess I’ve done most of what I’ve wanted to do, its now or never.”

When these people they find out my age I still often get the “Geez you’re young!” comments a lot.

Even from old people who are long married and “settled down”.

And it’s always annoyed me.

Recipe Friday: Classic Soda Bread

I'm going to be making this today so I thought I might share it with you. I'll be putting up 1 recipe a week. Todays is what is called a classic soda bread. Most people don't bother making bread anymore as it's cheap to buy and to make at home can be a bit tedious for todays time poor parents.

But this is SOOO EASY.

Once the ingredients are measured out, it should take less than a minute from mixing bowl to oven!!

1 Minute Bread!!

Ok so maybe for your first time it will take a bit longer than a minute, but it won't be that much more. Once in the oven, it will take 40 odd minutes and then you have delicious, hot, steaming bread. Great for the impromptu saturday lunch or afternoon tea.

MMMMMM. It is perfect with butter and jam, or a selection of meats and cheeses and dips. It's a bread that's meant to be eaten in one go, You'd be hard pressed not to anyway.

The recipe is so forgiving and flexible too, you can put nuts, grains and fruit in if thats what you want. Last week I made one with Guinness, apple and cheese and it was an amazing meal in one.


So here's the recipe:

CLASSIC SODA BREAD:

Work/Life Imbalance??

 I have a full time job. I don’t like my full time job. In fact, I’m beginning to hate my full time job. I understand that  (as you roll your eyes) I am standing beside several bazillion other working adults who also hate their job. I can hear the rustle of arms being folded across chests and looks of consternation “Yep, you and everybody else Wes. Suck it up like everyone else.” But I believe my dissatisfaction with my employment does not stem from the usual suspects like lack of career fulfilment, poor salary, job satisfaction or poor working conditions. I like the people I work with and count most as good friends. No, something else has been bothering me for sometime now, something small and cute and instantly lovable.

Emily-My little ray of sunshine.

I have two young beautiful kids. Noah is 2 years old, and Emily 5 months. They are the best, most special, fantabulous and incredible things in my life. I love them to bits; nay I love them to their teeny tiny little atoms.

I love ruffling my hands through Noahs golden hair and his cheeky grin.
I love the way he stomps around the house around the house doing a semi dance/hop/walk thing even when he doesn’t know I am watching. It cracks me up every-time. I try to imagine what he must be thinking when he does this toddler house strut, it probably goes something like this:

“I’m in my house, it’s my house, and I’m HAP-PY!! This walk is AWESOME! I’m so AWESOME!! See me wriggle my hand like that!! No one can do it like that!! YEAH!!”
Or so I imagine.

And Emily, oh Emily. Sooooo cute. I know you might think I’m biased being her dad and all but I am capable of being very objective, and I’m telling you she is the cutest little squishy missy chubby bunny on the planet (completely objective statement right there.). She has the chubbiest cheeks and her whole face smiles when she sees you.

I swear, I will do the dumbest things possible to make my kids laugh or smile.
 She has just begun squealing with delight whenever Noah goofs off in front of her. Like she knows he’s a big barrel of fun. And he so is.

Man do I love my kids. I love them so much that yes it really does hurt. I know you parents out there feel exactly the same way about your kids. Now I don’t know about you, but I feel really bummed out when I walk out the door of my home to go to work and conversely and am chomping at the bit to get home again come finishing time. And it’s because I treasure and value the time I have with my wife and kids, especially my kids, because it is time I will never get back.

Noah will never be the same as he was yesterday. Emily too. They both will have grown that little bit more, discovered a little more about life, figured out a new way break things around the house, have a new favourite toy/outfit/game to play. Noah learns new words everyday and figures out how to string them along better and better. He still loves kicking the soccer ball around the back yard but is even more interested in running around and finding as many spiders and bugs and creepy crawlies as he can (much to the chagrin of mum!).

Emily is beginning to roll and has officially left 0-3 month worm stage and has officially graduated to grub class. Problem is I like the worm stage. Not that I don’t like the grub stage, I definitely do, I just am regretting missing out on so much of the worm stage.

And this is the problem, if you can call it that. I value my time with my kids and wife way way way more than I value my job or even my career (which I absolutely do value highly and I place great import on strong work ethic). Now I can hear the bourgeois hordes clambering to spout the oft repeated “work to live, not live to work” adage.
Problem is that phrase doesn’t resonate with me, and possibly some of you too.

It doesn’t make sense to me that I leave for work at 8am and work through to 6pm and get home at 6:30, only to spend 1 and a half hours with my  beautiful wife and children. The bestest most exciting and fun human beings in the world. Including travel time I spend 10 hours a day working and 1 and a half hours of family time.

You do the math.
Can you see now how the work to live motto leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when there is such a gap between the working aspect and, for me, the living aspect?

Increasingly it feels to me like the work/life balance is skewed very much the wrong way. Maybe that’s why work is always first when the phrase is talked about. No one ever says life/work balance. It doesn’t sound right, almost as if life should never come before work. Why is it that the most valuable things in my life do not get the most valuable part of my day? How do I get past the fact that I miss out on the better part of my children’s magical lives because of the social necessity of having a 9 to 5 job?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not just whingeing about having to work. I’ve been more than happy working full time for most of the last decade, and working hard mind you. I can hear most people thinking “ Well, you have to work for a living, to earn money, which will in turn provide for your children and to give them the things they need.” Well, in truth, Noah and Emily or any other child for that matter doesn’t really need for that much. A roof over our heads, good food and the security, love and time from Mum and Dad.  Noah and Emily do not really need anything more than that.

Anything more than that is what us parents condition ourselves to believe they need. It fills the gaps in us, the parents’ lives, not the kids.

I know for certain that Noah would prefer to have me home for the majority of his day rather than the latest Bob the Builder Truck or a 2-week holiday down at the beach(It would still be nice though).
Emily lights up and giggles every time I make funny faces at her and tickle her belly and she doesn’t like it when Mum or myself aren’t in the room with her. But do you thinks she gives two hoots about the pretty bunting we decorate her room with? Or the billions of sparkly and expensive outfits we ran out and got for her as soon as she was born?

No not a chance. It is all simply for the vanity of parents living in a consumerist society.

I don’t want to stop working but I want to change the way I work. I want work to work for me. I don’t want to work 2400 hours a year Monday to Friday and only have 72 hours across the weekdays for my beautiful children.

Yes that’s correct, 1 and a half hours over 48 weeks of the year is only a disgraceful 72 hours I get to spend with my kids during the working week. I don’t want to be a weekend only dad, I want more than that.  I want to see my kids grow up.

I want to see Noah dancing around my house as much as possible before he decides to stop dancing (hopefully never!).
I want to see Emily wriggling around on her tummy and be there when she decides to stick her arms out and crawl, and take her first steps and gurgle her first words.

 I want to hug them both and kiss them as much as I can before it’s too late and kisses and hugs from dad just ain’t cool anymore(then, I’ll just have to wait until they’re sleeping and sneak them in then). I just do not want to have any regrets, I want to know that I was the best dad possible for Noah and Emily and that they never felt second best to anything…even work.

So what do I do about it? I can’t just stop working; I have a mortgage and cute little mouths to feed. Money is, unfortunately, a complete necessity at the moment.
But I can start working towards tipping the scales back in favour of life (sounds corny I know). I have a few ideas, some I am already exploring, which will hopefully do just that. I will share some of the ideas in a later post but for now they’ll be my own little social experiment.

 I just wish I had done something sooner but hindsight is 20/20. I’ll always be working hard wether it is in an office for some big company or for myself from home.
But If I am working at home in whatever capacity, I will get to run around the backyard with Noah on my lunch or smother Emily in kisses during coffee breaks. Call it perks of the job.
Meanwhile Emily and Noah grow that little bit older.

-Wes-
The Family Man

P.S- Do you have kids and feel the same way? Let me know what you think about it.     Is working a complete necessity? Or are there lifestyle choices we can make to better suit the needs of our children?

P.P.S- I hope you liked the first official blog post. If you did hit the facebook like button on the side. You’ll be able to keep up to date. And please share on facebook with all your friends and get the word out!!

Well heelloo!!

Welcome, welcome. Make yourself at home. This is my blog "The Family Man" and I'm stoked that you're here. This blog is going to be an eclectic fun bag where I plough through the various topics and issues that spring to mind on general areas of being a dad, a husband and a man, as well as whatever else might catch my fancy.

But I want my blog to be so much more than just a place where I post articles and if you care then you may eventually read them. I want you to be a big part of it, I want to know what you guys and gals think about the things I bring up, what your side of the story is. I want to know how you parent and what tips and tricks you have up you're sleeve. I want it to be an evolving, interactive community where real issues and needs get brought up, simple things like recipes and parenting tips and tricks are are thrown in for good measure.There will be photo galleries and comment forums, competitions and even perhaps social events, who knows the possibilites are endless!!

Over the coming weeks there'll probably be some chopping and changing as to format and such. But it's gonna rock and I can't wait. See you there!!

Wes.
The Family Man.

Enjoy yourself or else!!

P.S- I'd love to know if you have any ideas or thoughts on things that work. I'm still setting things up so I'm open to suggestions.